The End Of As I Lay Dying: Tim Lambesis Controversies And Scandals

As I Lay Dying once stood at the forefront of the American metalcore scene, achieving mainstream success, critical acclaim, and even a Grammy nomination with influential albums like Shadows Are Security and An Ocean Between Us. However, the band’s trajectory took a devastating and notorious turn on May 7, 2013, when founding vocalist Tim Lambesis was arrested for attempting to hire a hitman to m*rder his estranged wife, Meggan Murphy. This heinous act was not an isolated catastrophe but the explosive epicenter of a years-long saga of personal crises, public deceptions, multiple band implosions, and an enduringly tarnished legacy that continues to be defined by controversy.

Early Success and Hidden Cracks

Founded in San Diego in 2000 by Lambesis and drummer Jordan Mancino, As I Lay Dying quickly rose to prominence, signing with Metal Blade Records in 2003. Their early association with Christian metal, coupled with a potent blend of melodic death metal and thrash, garnered a dedicated following. Albums like Frail Words Collapse (2003), Shadows Are Security (2005), and An Ocean Between Us (2007) saw escalating chart success, with the latter peaking at No. 8 on the Billboard 200. They became festival headliners and award winners.

However, beneath this veneer of success, significant cracks were forming, primarily within Lambesis himself. In August 2012, he informed his wife Meggan via email that he no longer loved her, had been unfaithful, and, critically, no longer believed in God. This private admission starkly contrasted with the band’s public image. Meggan Murphy Lambesis filed for divorce in September 2012, citing irreconcilable differences and alleging in court documents that Lambesis had become “obsessed with bodybuilding,” was spending “endless hours at the gym,” and had grown “dangerously distracted” while caring for their three adopted children. His attorney later attributed these changes to steroid use, which allegedly altered his “physiological and mental status.”

The Crime That Shattered Everything

The personal unraveling culminated in April 2013 when Lambesis approached a gym acquaintance to inquire about hiring someone to k*ll Meggan Murphy. His stated motivations reportedly involved difficulties in seeing their children and concerns over a potential divorce settlement where Meggan might receive up to 60% of his income. The acquaintance alerted law enforcement, leading to a sting operation.

On May 7, 2013, Lambesis met with an undercover detective posing as a hitman codenamed “Red.” When asked if he wanted his wife gone, Lambesis unequivocally replied, “Yes, that’s what I want.” He provided an envelope containing $1,000 cash, photographs of Meggan, her address, security gate codes, and a list of dates when he would have their children, instructing the “hitman” to carry out the m*rder during one of those times to provide himself an alibi. He was arrested later that day. The remaining members of As I Lay Dying released a statement expressing their shock: “There are many unanswered questions, and the situation will become clearer in the coming days and weeks.”

Trial, Sentencing, and the Voice of the Victim

Lambesis initially pleaded not guilty but changed his plea to guilty of solicitation of m*rder in February 2014.4 On May 16, 2014, he was sentenced to six years in state prison. During the sentencing, his former bandmates Nick Hipa, Phil Sgrosso, and Josh Gilbert were present, reportedly in support of Meggan Murphy.

Meggan Murphy delivered a powerful victim impact statement, describing how Lambesis had changed, bullied her, and become “dangerous.” “When the one person who you’ve been most vulnerable with… has not only desired but planned your m*rder — you’re left feeling completely exposed and unprotected,” she stated, also expressing profound fear of Lambesis‘s notoriety and fanbase. Her father, Mike Murphy, bluntly told the court: “Tim is only sorry he got caught.”

Confessions and Further Alienation

While awaiting sentencing, Lambesis gave a June 2014 interview to Alternative Press that sent further shockwaves. He confessed not only to his own atheism but claimed other members of As I Lay Dying also no longer believed, alleging they collectively maintained a Christian facade primarily for financial reasons and to protect record sales. “Truthfully, I was an atheist,” he said, calling his previous public statements “cowardly.” He controversially added, “maybe one in 10 Christian bands we toured with were actually Christian bands.” He also admitted that his loss of faith contributed to a moral collapse, making infidelity seem less significant as he rationalized that if God wasn’t real, marriage was “just a stupid piece of paper.” These admissions deeply alienated many, including his former bandmates, with Nick Hipa later describing such interviews by Lambesis as “one long excuse.”

Wovenwar: A New Band made by As I Lay Dying’s members

With Lambesis incarcerated (he was released on parole in December 2016), the remaining members—Hipa, Sgrosso, Gilbert, and Mancino—decided against continuing As I Lay Dying without its frontman. Instead, they formed a new band, Wovenwar, with vocalist Shane Blay of Oh, Sleeper. Wovenwar adopted a more melodic alternative metal sound, releasing their self-titled debut in 2014 (which charted at No. 36 on the Billboard 200) and a second album, Honor Is Dead, in 2016. The members expressed a desire for a fresh start, though interviews during this period were often dominated by questions about Lambesis, highlighting the inescapable shadow of their past.

The Controversial Return

Following a public apology posted by Lambesis in December 2017, As I Lay Dying stunned the metal world by announcing a reunion of its “classic” lineup in June 2018. They released a video discussing reconciliation and forgiveness, alongside a new single, “My Own Grave.” Their seventh album, Shaped by Fire, followed in September 2019.

The reunion was met with intense public debate. While some fans welcomed the band’s return, many critics and fellow musicians questioned the sincerity of Lambesis‘s redemption, and some venues cancelled shows due to backlash.

The Second Great Scandal (2020-2024)

This reunited front proved fragile. In August 2020, lead guitarist Nick Hipa departed, stating that “the story and meaning we built our reunion upon decayed considerably over time” and that he could not tolerate “mistreating or disrespecting people.” Bassist/clean vocalist Josh Gilbert left in May 2022 to “pursue other musical opportunities,” followed a month later by founding drummer Jordan Mancino, who cited “ongoing internal issues.” Lambesis publicly disputed Mancino‘s reasons, claiming Mancino had isolated himself from the band.

As I Lay Dying continued with new members Ryan Neff (Miss May I), Ken Susi (ex-Unearth), and Nick Pierce (ex-Unearth), alongside Lambesis and remaining classic-era guitarist Phil Sgrosso. However, this iteration also collapsed dramatically in October 2024, when Sgrosso, Neff, Susi, Pierce, and their tour manager all quit. Phil Sgrosso stated, “As I Lay Dying no longer offers a healthy or safe environment for anyone involved… After witnessing some concerning patterns of behavior, I’ve realized that I can no longer, in good conscience, enable further actions that could negatively affect anyone working within this space.”

Disturbing New Allegations Emerge

The “concerning patterns of behavior” were shockingly detailed in an April 2025 podcast interview by Ken Susi. He alleged that the catalyst for the mass departure was an incident where Tim Lambesis physically and verbally assaulted his then-wife, Dany Ciara (Norris), in Susi‘s own home. “Lambesis corners his wife in my kitchen and sp*ts in her face,” Susi recounted, adding, “I’m not going to turn a blind eye to domestic violence… Don’t ab*se your wife in my f**king house.”

Around the time of the 2024 exodus, home security video also surfaced appearing to show Lambesis in a highly agitated state during an argument with Ciara. Lambesis subsequently filed for divorce, alleging he was the victim of abuse by Ciara. Further controversy erupted in January 2025 with footage appearing to show Lambesis mistreating his dog, leading to a public petition and the band being dropped from the Welcome to Rockville 2025 festival lineup.

An Album Born in Chaos

Amidst this profound turmoil, with Tim Lambesis as the sole remaining member, As I Lay Dying released its eighth studio album, ironically titled Through Storms Ahead, on November 15, 2024. The album featured the musical contributions of the very members who had just departed citing serious moral and safety concerns. Its reception was, unsurprisingly, “irrevocably tarnished,” with Sputnikmusic labeling it “the most embarrassing metalcore album of 2024” and Blabbermouth concluding the album’s launch was a “massive fu**king disaster.”