Testament frontman Chuck Billy has offered a deeply personal look into his upcoming debut autobiography, revealing that writing the book felt like undergoing months of emotional therapy. Scheduled to release his career-spanning memoir, “Holding My Breath: The Two Testaments of Chuck Billy“, the soon-to-be 64-year-old thrash metal icon promises a project that goes far beyond a standard rock-and-roll tell-all.
In a brand-new interview with Metal Injection, the singer admitted that stepping into the spotlight as an author was an unexpected move for him.
“You know, I’m not a spring chicken, and I never really thought about doing it, because I am actually quite private,” Billy stated. “I’ll talk my a** off like in an interview, but I’m just not a guy who strikes up conversations. I’m a quiet guy, in general.”
Co-authored by Dave Erickson, the book is strategically divided into two distinct eras. The first portion documents his childhood upbringing within a resilient Native American and Mexican-American family, alongside Testament‘s rapid ascent from local Bay Area clubs to international prominence.
“I really didn’t want the book to be a Testament book,” Billy explained. “What I enjoyed about other people’s books or autobiographies that I’ve read was who they were before they were somebody. I enjoyed that part of the reading, to learn about that person. So I wanted that to be my book. I wanted someone to know me because I never really shared that part with anyone.”
Reflecting on how quickly the 1980s thrash scene exploded alongside legendary peers like Metallica and Exodus, the vocalist recalled the sheer shock of leaving Northern California for the first time.
“We only knew it once we got on the road because we were kind of closed into the Bay Area and never left really. And that scene rose quickly. Next thing, everybody’s got labels making records and bam, we’re off on the road,” Billy said. “Until we started going to other cities and having people know our music and beginning a quick fan base, we were like, ‘holy s**t.'”
The true emotional core of the memoir rests on a chilling premonition Billy harbored from his youth. The singer revealed that he long believed he would not survive past a specific age: a dark expectation that eerily manifested as a life-threatening medical crisis.
“I thought my life expiration was 38 years old, and I thought that from a young age, almost committed to it,” Billy continued. “And when that time came, that’s when I got cancer, so I thought, ‘Oh s**t. It’s happening. This is it, this is the year.'”
At age 38, the musician was diagnosed with germ cell seminoma, a rare form of cancer. He ultimately beat the disease through a combination of conventional medical treatments and traditional Native healing ceremonies rooted in his heritage. Now cancer-free for over two decades, he views the harrowing ordeal as a literal crossroads.
“When you beat it, and you make it through it and the way I went through it with the native healings and all that and to come out the other side, beating it and not dying and then having a new life with the band, a new life with myself, it just made sense that that’s the crossroad right there for me,” he reflected.
The physical transformation brought on by intense therapy took a heavy psychological toll, making his eventual return to the stage feel nearly impossible at the time.
“I lost all my hair. I was on steroids. I was ballooned up, I was huge, man. No eyebrows, no anything,” Billy remembered. “I was just looking at Eric [Peterson] and going, ‘That’s not the singer of Testament.’ That world was over.”
Billy‘s medical battle directly triggered the historic “Thrash of the Titans” benefit concert on August 11, 2001, at San Francisco’s Maritime Hall. Initially organized to raise funds for Billy and late Death mastermind Chuck Schuldiner, the landmark evening inadvertently completely revitalized the dormant classic thrash scene.
“After the ‘Thrash of the Titans‘ show in San Francisco, not only did it reconnect Testament‘s original lineup, but it also connected Exodus, Death Angel, Vio-lence, Forbidden, Heathen, all these bands that weren’t playing, all of a sudden, all got back together,” Billy reflected. “I had to kind of like take one for the team to almost like revive the Bay Area bands there for a minute.”
By 2005, a healthier Billy rejoined Testament‘s original lineup for a triumphant European reunion run. Today, the group stands as one of heavy metal’s most enduring and widely respected acts. With upcoming tour alongside longtime friends in Death Angel, Metal Church, Armored Saint, and Hellripper, the vocalist has traded chaotic partying for strict self-preservation and rigorous tour prep.
“I do take care of myself for the tour,” Billy explained. “I prep a month or two riding bikes, I quit smoking w**d, and get my lungs cleared. I don’t smoke w**d on the road anymore.”
Looking ahead, the frontman teased that Testament is actively planning a 2027 studio release. Guitarist Eric Peterson and drummer Chris Dovas have already completed structural work on eight or nine brand-new songs.
“Our goal is to keep making music. Eric and Chris [Dovas] have already got like eight or nine songs for the next record done. Chris just keeps coming out, and they’re working. So we hope to get another record done in ’27, recorded and done,” Billy concluded, emphasizing the delicate balance of staying active without burning out.
“I don’t wanna stop it, but I also wanna not be the guy to pick a date and go to the end. Because I definitely want to experience things while I’m young enough, and go do things and not wait till I can’t. So you’re on the fine line of a teeter-totter. What do you want to do? So we’re pretty fortunate that we’re able to put tours together, tour comfortably enough and not work us too hard and keep busy.”
During a recent interview with Denny Spinks on “Rock N’ Roll Medicine“, Billy reflected on why he finally decided to document his legacy.
“At first I was approached to do [the book]. I didn’t seek [it] out because I’m a private guy. I haven’t really talked about a lot of my younger years and a lot of that part. It’s always about the band and what’s going on with the band. And so I thought, looking back, now having the opportunity and looking back and talking about or reflecting, especially once I started doing the book and looking at it as really therapeutic almost, and especially thinking, ‘God, okay,’ I was — I don’t know — must have been 17, 18, staring at that Black Sabbath record wanting to… I don’t know if it was music [I wanted to get into]. Maybe [I] just [wanted to be a] celebrity, ’cause I was a sports athlete. I wanted either to play sports or be a musician — not necessarily lead singer. I could play guitar back then. But that was kind of it, and I was, like, ‘I would do anything in my life to be successful,’ even if I had to live to, like, 38. And that was kind of how it all started. And so that’s kind of when it all happened [with my cancer diagnosis] at [the age of] 38. I’m thinking, ‘Wow, this thing that happened when I was real young is actually, coming to happen.’ Yeah, it’s just a trippy thing,” he explained.
He continued: “When I started talking about writing the book, I thought, ‘Okay, well, s**t, it’s trippy because there’s two mes, two Chucks‘ — the Chuck before I got sick and that whole years of starting the band up to that point, and then the Chuck that beat cancer and the band that reunited back together and started writing all these other records going forward was a different Chuck and different Testament.’ So it was kind of an interesting pivot point of my story, but I kind of look at it and go, ‘God, it all lays back on that 38 pact thing,’ and here, s**t, and I thought it was gonna happen,” he continued. “It didn’t happen. But what happened was all these bands got back together, and, wow, what a trip. It’s almost like you took one for the team to get s**t started again. It’s just this weird thing. So I thought it’s interesting, especially at a time now. I’m in my 60s, and I see so many new bands, so many promoters, ’cause they gotta find who’s next, who’s the next headliners, who’s the next generation. There’s a lot of traffic, a lot of s**t going on, and we’ve had a great, successful 40 years, and we’re doing good and making great music. But I thought it was maybe an interesting time for me to kind of capture the story of the two sides of me and the two sides of the band. And especially the pivot point because the route I went to beat my cancer with the chemotherapy and the native healings with all the healers I went to was mind-blowing. And every time I tell it and think about it, the things I went through, it’s unreal to me almost. And I thought I need to document and talk about that. I’ve talked about it in interviews and stuff, but I thought I really need to lay it down in the book and go back to the beginning and how it all started before I met Charlie, the first healer. So it was just something, I think — it was the right time. I had time to do it, and it was the right time to do it. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought, ‘S**t, man, I don’t got two years to write this book. I’m gonna be busy as hell touring.’ But I had some help. I had a guy, David Erickson, help me out, and we talked on the phone every day for, like, three or four months, and just chopped it up. And that was — like I said, again, it was therapeutic, man.”
When asked if the narrative begins with his cancer diagnosis, Billy clarified that the book’s roots go all the way back to his infancy.
“The book starts pretty much when I’m, like, eight months old. The whole premise of holding my breath starts when I was eight months old. That’s kind of where my story begins, and that’s kind of where the ‘Holding My Breath‘ title comes from, and kind of is the theme that carries out throughout my life — in my personal life and in the business and in the band — that phrase of holding my breath. I don’t wanna give it all away, but that’s kind of what starts from then, all the way through, all my young years before I got into the band. And what I did to train and be in a band before I got into the band. It’s all those years. All the stupid, crazy drug years and stupidity and just dumb things we did [when we were] young, and all the dumb drug stuff we did and we survived. And that’s the part you don’t get interviewed about when you’re talking about the band,” he concluded.
