Testament frontman Chuck Billy has opened up about the deeply personal process of writing his upcoming memoir, “Holding My Breath: The Two Testaments Of Chuck Billy“. Scheduled to hit shelves on November 10, 2026, through Permuted Press, the book offers an unfiltered look at the 63-year-old vocalist’s life, chronicling everything from the explosive early days of Bay Area thrash to his life-altering battle with a rare form of cancer.
During a recent interview with Denny Spinks on “Rock N’ Roll Medicine“, the singer reflected on why he finally decided to document his legacy.
“At first I was approached to do [the book]. I didn’t seek [it] out because I’m a private guy. I haven’t really talked about a lot of my younger years and a lot of that part. It’s always about the band and what’s going on with the band. And so I thought, looking back, now having the opportunity and looking back and talking about or reflecting, especially once I started doing the book and looking at it as really therapeutic almost, and especially thinking, ‘God, okay,’ I was — I don’t know — must have been 17, 18, staring at that Black Sabbath record wanting to… I don’t know if it was music [I wanted to get into]. Maybe [I] just [wanted to be a] celebrity, ’cause I was a sports athlete. I wanted either to play sports or be a musician — not necessarily lead singer. I could play guitar back then. But that was kind of it, and I was, like, ‘I would do anything in my life to be successful,’ even if I had to live to, like, 38. And that was kind of how it all started. And so that’s kind of when it all happened [with my cancer diagnosis] at [the age of] 38. I’m thinking, ‘Wow, this thing that happened when I was real young is actually, coming to happen.’ Yeah, it’s just a trippy thing,” he explained (as transcribed by Blabbermouth).
The memoir is structurally divided into two distinct halves. The “Old Testament” explores the chaotic birth of the thrash metal movement, the founding of Testament, and the band’s rise to international prominence. The “New Testament” pivots to Billy‘s sudden diagnosis with germ cell seminoma at age 38, detailing his grueling medical treatments, his reliance on Native American and Mexican-American spiritual healers, and the massive outpouring of support from the heavy music community.
“When I started talking about writing the book, I thought, ‘Okay, well, s**t, it’s trippy because there’s two mes, two Chucks‘ — the Chuck before I got sick and that whole years of starting the band up to that point, and then the Chuck that beat cancer and the band that reunited back together and started writing all these other records going forward was a different Chuck and different Testament.’ So it was kind of an interesting pivot point of my story, but I kind of look at it and go, ‘God, it all lays back on that 38 pact thing,’ and here, s**t, and I thought it was gonna happen,” he continued. “It didn’t happen. But what happened was all these bands got back together, and, wow, what a trip. It’s almost like you took one for the team to get s**t started again. It’s just this weird thing. So I thought it’s interesting, especially at a time now. I’m in my 60s, and I see so many new bands, so many promoters, ’cause they gotta find who’s next, who’s the next headliners, who’s the next generation. There’s a lot of traffic, a lot of s**t going on, and we’ve had a great, successful 40 years, and we’re doing good and making great music. But I thought it was maybe an interesting time for me to kind of capture the story of the two sides of me and the two sides of the band. And especially the pivot point because the route I went to beat my cancer with the chemotherapy and the native healings with all the healers I went to was mind-blowing. And every time I tell it and think about it, the things I went through, it’s unreal to me almost. And I thought I need to document and talk about that. I’ve talked about it in interviews and stuff, but I thought I really need to lay it down in the book and go back to the beginning and how it all started before I met Charlie, the first healer. So it was just something, I think — it was the right time. I had time to do it, and it was the right time to do it. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought, ‘S**t, man, I don’t got two years to write this book. I’m gonna be busy as hell touring.’ But I had some help. I had a guy, David Erickson, help me out, and we talked on the phone every day for, like, three or four months, and just chopped it up. And that was — like I said, again, it was therapeutic, man.”
When asked if the narrative begins with his cancer diagnosis, Billy clarified that the book’s roots go all the way back to his infancy.
“The book starts pretty much when I’m, like, eight months old. The whole premise of holding my breath starts when I was eight months old. That’s kind of where my story begins, and that’s kind of where the ‘Holding My Breath‘ title comes from, and kind of is the theme that carries out throughout my life — in my personal life and in the business and in the band — that phrase of holding my breath. I don’t wanna give it all away, but that’s kind of what starts from then, all the way through, all my young years before I got into the band. And what I did to train and be in a band before I got into the band. It’s all those years. All the stupid, crazy drug years and stupidity and just dumb things we did [when we were] young, and all the dumb drug stuff we did and we survived. And that’s the part you don’t get interviewed about when you’re talking about the band.”
Co-authored with Dave Erickson, “Holding My Breath” also highlights the historic 2001 “Thrash Of The Titans” benefit concert. The legendary event temporarily reunited fractured bands and rivals across the scene to raise funds for Billy‘s medical bills, simultaneously sparking a genre-wide revival.
The book is further bolstered by contributions from other metal heavyweights, featuring a foreword penned by Judas Priest vocalist Rob Halford and an afterword by Lamb Of God frontman Randy Blythe.
“This book is about two versions of me that are really just one story,” Chuck said. “The guy who thought he was invincible, and the guy who learned how fragile life really is.”
Beyond his legacy in heavy metal, Billy continues to champion his Native American (Pomo) heritage. Following his recovery, his cultural contributions were formally recognized by the California State Assembly. He was also featured in the Smithsonian’s National Museum Of The American Indian exhibition, and secured a “Best Music Video” award at the American Indian Film Festival for the Testament track “Native Blood“.
