Shane Embury, the long-standing bassist for British grindcore pioneers Napalm Death, has publicly addressed the severe health issues that forced him to step away from portions of the band’s recent touring schedule.
During a brand-new interview with Paul McNamee on “The False Face” show, the veteran musician opened up about his harrowing experiences with pancreatitis and his ongoing journey toward sobriety.
“I’ve been on and off probably for a long time. My health’s been generally okay. I’ve been very lucky, really, because I’ve had what they call pancreatitis. I’ve had that, like, three times in my life at various stages, and I’ve been hospitalized three times. And [I’ve been] quite lucky to bounce back as I have done,” he said (as transcribed by Blaabbermouth).
Shane was candid about the root cause of his life-threatening condition, directly linking his bouts of pancreatitis to alcohol abuse. He explained how easy it is for touring musicians to remain in denial about their drinking habits, revealing that a recent stint on the road almost ended in disaster.
“You don’t like to think that you’re a, quote-unquote, alcoholic. You go, ‘Ah, no, I’ve got a handle on it.’ You think you have because you go on tour and you come back, and then you switch it off. I hadn’t drank for a long, long time. But the last few years, it kind of crept back in again, and loads of other different issues were going on for me. And last year was pretty hardcore on the Melvins tour. I got about three weeks into it and I had to leave. It could have gone really bad. I’m in a much better place now than I was this time last year, that’s for sure — mentally, physically, everything. I bounced back, so to speak, relatively quickly. They do say alcoholics are very sturdious in that respect. And I went to some AA [Alcoholics Anonymous] meetings, which I’d never done before, and I found that kind of interesting from multiple perspectives of listening to them talk and reading The Big Blue Book, as they call it. And [I went], ‘Okay, I recognize myself in these pages.’ I’m also kind of into my Jungian psychology [psychological theories and practices developed by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung], which is an ever-learning experience. You can’t sort of take it, quote-unquote, for you, because every person’s different. But the whole looking at your inner shadow and your persona, and the ego and various things. So together, with the AA, I felt a bit more armed this time towards trying to work it out. And then, of course, the life on the road’s very different to life at home,” he explained.
The relentless pace of the music industry also played a significant role in his physical and mental burnout. The bassist noted that his Napalm Death bandmates were incredibly supportive during his crisis, which prompted him to deeply analyze why he was pushing himself to the absolute limit across multiple musical projects.
“You have to start looking at yourself and go, ‘Well, maybe I’m a big part of what’s going on here. What is this?’ And the Napalm boys, they’re very supportive. They were worried about me,” he continued. “They probably didn’t wanna wake up and find me dead in the bunk. No one would like that, of course. [And it was] quite irresponsible, I think, of me as well, really. But then I go, ‘What the hell was driving me to go out [and abuse my body like that]?’ Because on the surface, you can say, ‘Well, you’re quite a successful character.’ I have my family, I have multiple projects, so why are you pushing yourself to such extremes? So that’s kind of been a bit of a quest, what’s triggering me before all that s**t. And I think touring had become a bit difficult for me before that, but not so much touring as such, but just the amount. I mean, it’s not so much Napalm Death as the fact that at one point I was touring with four or five bands, just pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing. And I think sometimes you get burned out. And sometimes your body has to tell you — maybe — or your inner spirit or whatever. But if you try to ignore it, it will knock on you and go, ‘Look.’ So that was that, really. So, yeah, I’ve been reassessing what’s going on, really.”
Beyond the stage, Embury admitted that personal strains at home, particularly during the global pandemic, contributed to his erratic behavior. Reconciling his public persona as a revered heavy metal musician with his private role as a father and husband required significant soul-searching.
“Especially in the pandemic, relations with my family were strained at time because I like to think I’m generally an okay person,” Shane said. “But there’s times where I’m a complete nightmare to be with. And I’m, ‘Oh, what’s going on there?’ So all this kind of soul-searching sort of individuation, I guess they call it, in Jungian terms, is to try and find your authentic version of yourself.
He concluded by emphasizing the importance of leaving the “rock star” ego at the door when returning to family life:
“Speaking just for speaking terms, you go on tour and people say, ‘Oh, you’re great. You’re wonderful. You’re this, you’re that,’ and you can… I like to try and feel I’m modest about it, but you hear that so much, you come home. But that means s**t when you’re home. When you’re home, you’re there to be a dad and be a husband and be nice. I’ve never thought myself as marching around — that rock star-ish thing, I always tried to be against that in a way. But sometimes you can bring it back home with you. And I’m not really into that part. And, yeah, I take some accountability for it all, I think, really.”
