Eric Bass has given a detailed account of where he stands two months after stepping away from Shinedown‘s touring to seek treatment, and said the experience has tested his faith rather than strengthened it.
The bassist and producer spoke on “Talk O’Tuesdays“, the podcast he co-hosts with John Guarnieri.
Bass described a period that has not gone the way he hoped.
“I’m kind of at a point right now where I’m beating myself up about everything I have to do that I haven’t been able to do just because of my mental state. I’ve been sort of in a state of — I don’t know what the right term is — in kind of in a place of not being able to start tasks, that kind of thing. And actually, I’ll be honest with you, man, it feels actually kind of bad, ’cause I feel I’ve been so unproductive in this time off. I mean, I guess it’s sort of been productive for my mental health, but not really productive for my mental health. So I don’t know. I feel like it’s just been a waste of time in a lot of ways,” he said (as transcribed by Blabbermouth).
Bass was equally frank about the treatment.
“I’m not really sure I see what’s working at this point,” he continued. “I’m not trying to be cynical about it or anything, but like I feel like I’ve done this big circle and there were moments of revelation and stuff that was great and felt better, and then I’ve arrived right back kind of where I was. And I guess it’s just my default mode, man. I don’t know. I’m trying to like not be like that. I’m still in therapy and stuff. But we’ll see if it works out.”
Describing the feeling itself, he reached for something he has said before.
“It’s interesting, ’cause I’ve talked to a couple other friends recently, musicians especially, musicians and artists. I think it’s just sort of a way that you feel sometimes, I guess, as a creative — maybe it’s not a creative, maybe it’s a spiritual person or something — but you feel out of place, like you don’t belong, like there’s a spiritual realm somewhere else that’s more real than this place is, and I’m in the wrong place. I’ve said it before, I feel like I’m wearing an uncomfortable suit all the time. And I’m trying to navigate a world where I don’t feel… I feel out of place. I don’t feel like I belong,” he explained.
Bass stopped short of going further.
“I can’t talk too much about this because it is really personal,” he continued. “I don’t wanna get too deep far down into my mental state. But I think one of the things that kind of freaked me out was that I was having those feelings of, like, I don’t belong here. And I’ve always felt that way, but this was more of a serious way of viewing it. And it got more edgy than that and more serious than that.”
Bass said he announced his absence in July because the alternative was worse.
“I just didn’t have a choice, I either just don’t show up and then people speculate on all kinds of stuff and what’s going on, or I have to say something. And again, what I said in the statement, which is, how lucky am I to be in a position where I can take the time? Let’s just go ahead and get that out in the open that I am grateful and I understand that not everybody can take the time. But it’s a f**ked up place to be to have to say something, when you’re in that sort of a vulnerable state. And believe me, man, the outpouring of support and everything… I think I saw one — I literally saw one bad comment from somebody. And I didn’t even disagree with their comment, which was, I think some dude said, ‘Oh, you’re in one of the biggest rock bands in the world and that’s just not enough, huh?’ And I’m, like, ‘I know.’ I get it. I get what you’re saying, dude. I could see myself in some other universe saying that about someone else, too. That comment isn’t unfounded. And I get it. I’m looking at myself going, ‘The same, dude.’ I wish it weren’t that. But the outpouring of support has been amazing.”
He was uncomfortable with being thanked for it.
Bass said: “It’s odd to hear people say, ‘Well, you’ve helped so many other people [by going public with it].’ And it’s, like, I don’t really see how that’s helping, but I guess if it makes people feel better about themselves that maybe I’m talking about it, I guess… It does feel weird. People are, like, ‘Oh, thank you,’ and all this stuff. It’s, like, I did it ’cause I had to. ‘Cause for me, it’s, like, if you’re just gonna make an announcement like that about yourself, that’s very kind of church of self and very self-worship. And that’s not what it was supposed to be. It’s not a look-at-me moment. It’s, ‘Hey, guys, I’m not gonna be on stage, and I don’t know when I’m coming back.’ And that was the other thing I made a point about. It’s, like, well, if I don’t say anything, it’s not really being true to what we’ve told people about not being ashamed. And I’m not ashamed of it. It’s just I’m sad about it. I’m pissed off about it. I wish it were different. I don’t know how to fix it.”
Asked how this has sat with his beliefs, Bass said it has been the hardest part.
“Well, I wish I had a different answer. It’s been really challenging for my faith journey, to be honest with you,” he revealed. “And I haven’t abandoned it, of course. And I still believe, and I still am… Actually, I’ll be honest with you, man. It’s the literal definition of practicing faith, because right now I don’t feel close to God. I don’t have the warm and fuzzy, and I feel like it’s in the desert, but I feel like I’ve been in the desert, and I’m ready to come out of the desert, and I’m ready for God to carry me a little bit, just for a second. And again, man, I have to differentiate this. I don’t know why I feel the need to do this, but I understand how blessed my life is, man. I don’t mean carry me like give me stuff. It’s not that. I’d be in the same place if I had… In fact, I’ll be honest with you, man, my life was probably happier when I lived in a small house in a neighborhood somewhere or in an apartment. But it’s just because the demands of what we do. Yeah, you get the blessings of recording studios and properties and cars and whatever, man. But, yeah, it comes at a price, man. There’s a a price for that stuff. And some people battle with the price and some people know how to accept it with grace. Some people know how to accept it with destruction. I’m one of those people that I’ve never really been able to accept it. But I guess what I’m talking about is, like I say, waiting on God to carry me, I mean just emotionally.”
In July, shortly after stepping back, Bass told followers the treatment was working and that he was feeling much better. His account now is of a lift that did not hold.
“Early on in this journey of taking this time off, I did a treatment that really, really worked, and it worked really well, and I felt — f**k, man— I felt elevated out of this place that my brain has been for years. I felt elevated out of it for, like, a week and a half, two weeks. It felt great, man. It felt wonderful. And then I think I overplayed my hand with it and went back in for some more treatment and it kind of tanked everything. And I’m not saying that’s what did it. It might have happened either way, but I kind of fell back down into it and I’ve been just clawing desperately, out of desperation, trying to get back to that feeling of not waking up depressed, not going to bed depressed. And it hasn’t happened. And so with my faith, this has really caused me to be… I’ve said this to a few people. I said, ‘Be careful what you pray for,’ because there was a moment where I was praying for God to remake me and to make me into something else. And I don’t mean someone else. I mean something else, something better. And it wasn’t even a week later, two weeks later that everything got… I had some things I had to come to terms with and some things happened that kind of pulled the rug out from underneath my life, and I had this sort of a breakdown. And not even sort of… It’s God’s way of going, ‘Okay, you prayed to be different and you prayed to be remade. I’m gonna remake you. It’s not gonna look like you want it to. It’s not gonna be this warm, fuzzy thing. It’s gonna be rough.’ And I think that’s where I am. I’m hoping that’s what His plan is with this and that, that maybe I’m not part of some other plan where I don’t make it out of this. I don’t know. But I prayed for something to be different, and it’s different. It’s not better. Is it more real? Yeah, I’m living probably more in the real world than I was, in my own reality. So it’s been tough, man. It’s been really just practicing faith of that I believe what I believe, and I believe what I’ve seen, and I believe what I’ve felt, and I believe what I’ve heard from the Holy Spirit, and I believe these things,” he concluded.
Bass, 51, announced on July 10 that he would not be joining Shinedown for their summer touring, saying he had suffered a serious mental health crash a few weeks earlier. He is receiving talk therapy and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation at the Medical University of South Carolina, a treatment the Mayo Clinic describes as using magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of major depression, and which is also used for obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Josh Sturm of Kairos and Zack Mack have covered the bass position. Bass said at the time that he had no timeline for returning but hoped it would be sooner rather than later.
He explained at the time: “ Hey, everybody. It’s Eric from Shinedown. I don’t really know any other way to do this than to just do it off the cuff. None of this is prepared. But I have an announcement to make. I’m not going to be joining the band on the beginning of this tour that starts in a few days.”
“I had a pretty serious mental health crash, I guess you could say, a few weeks ago, couple of weeks ago. And I don’t really feel it’s the wise thing for me to do to go out on tour right now.”
“I’ve debated whether or not to make this announcement at all and just not be there and then show back up when it’s time. But mental health being such a thing that I have championed and the band has championed, I thought that it would be not the best look to maybe seem like I’m ashamed of it.”
“So, yeah, I can’t go into any details about it. I’m doing a really great treatment at the Medical University of South Carolina called TMS. It’s actually an electrical stimulation protocol that helps with depression. That mixed in with talk therapy and that kind of thing. And I’m feeling way better, so that’s good.”
“But I just want everyone to know that I wanna be out there. It’s killing me to not be there. Josh Sturm and Zack Mack, two of our great friends, are coming out to help fill in for my stuff until I can come back out. I don’t have a timeline for that right now. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later, but I wanna make sure that I’m safe.”
“I’m very blessed to be able to take a break like this. I know a lot of people can’t. And I would encourage anyone who maybe is a business owner out there, if you’ve got someone in your company who’s having issues like this, to give them some time if they need it. And also, if you’re going through a mental health crisis, to give yourself time as well, and to reach out to people.”
“I did something I’d never done before in my fifty-one years on Earth, is I reached out to someone and I said, ‘I can’t do this on my own and I need help.’ And it led to some healing that I’m going through right now. It’s not an easy thing to do, to ask for help, but it has to be done.”
“I love all of you. Thank you all for your understanding. I can’t wait to get back up on stage again. So, go out there and support Shinedown on the ‘Dance, Kid, Dance Act II‘ world tour. I will be back out there as soon as possible. And, yeah, thank you all for your understanding. Love everybody.”
Bass has played bass in Shinedown since 2008 and has produced the band’s last three albums, including Eight, released on May 29 this year through Atlantic and recorded at his own Big Animal Studio in Charleston, South Carolina. The North American leg of the “Dance, Kid, Dance Act II” tour opened on July 11 in Mount Pleasant, Michigan and finishes in early September.
